New Year, same neurosis

Well happy new year everybody! How are your resolutions going so far? Did you make one? I haven’t really had a chance to practice my resolutions yet but my goal of one unassisted pull up is going…….blah. I’m over it and want to quit and say F&^% It! I’m just not meant to do pull ups! But I’m plugging along. Even did some assisted pull ups while I was out of town. I tried one unassisted and my elbows still don’t bend. Just when I think I’ve come so far, the damn pull up bar puts me in my place. BEND ELBOWS BEND! UUUGGGGHHHHH!

So, the last time I threw some words down I was telling everyone how I was going to Boston and I was dreading the cold weather. Well we went. We left Friday night after I got out of work. The plane arrived early which was great except we weren’t at the gate. We were too wrapped up in eves dropping on some other couples’ conversation during, what was supposed to be, a quick bite to eat. So they embarrassingly announced our names over the loud speaker that they were waiting on us. Whoops! We made it to Boston though and the weather of course was quite chilly. It was bearable but it was still cold and a little outside of my comfort zone.

On Saturday when we woke up it was 10° outside. yes, 10! The husband and I went to a local gym that was just a couple blocks away and I actually got in a really good back and arm work out. I wanted to make sure I had a little pump going on for the wedding seeing as I was wearing a sleeveless dress! ;-)

I mean....that focus though!

Then we left and it was pretty chilly after the gym only because I was drenched in sweat. We made it back to his Aunts house where we had spent the night and had breakfast with the family. We then walked to the local Dunkin' Donuts to get some coffee. P. S. If you didn't know, Dunkin' Donuts is a big thing in Massachusetts. There seems to be one on every block. It's really funny, the whole time I was there I saw maybe two Starbucks and probably 10 to 15 different Dunkin' Donuts! It may just be the Dunkin’ Donuts capital of the world! I’ll have to google that one. The rest of Saturday we pretty much spent going from my husband’s aunts house to the hotel and then getting ready for the wedding that evening.

The wedding was beautiful! It was in a Catholic Church in downtown Boston. The interior was so ornate. I loved looking around at the architecture and stained glass. After that we went to the reception venue which was also in downtown Boston. The reception was held on the top floor of a building, don’t ask me the name, sheesh, so we could see the entire city from all the windows that lined the venue. It was so much fun seeing all the cousins and aunts and everything. Not to mention we really took advantage of the Photo Booth.

The next day was spent walking around Boston. When we went out at noon the weather was really nice and it wasn't too cold. It was great for walking around. I did layer up and wore a hat but it was very comfortable. As the day wore on, however, it grew colder and colder and my poor nose just couldn't handle it. I think everyone thought I was dying because I kept sneezing and blowing my nose and it was just out-of-control. I kind of even looked like death because my eyes were so puffy from sneezing so much. It's clear that my body just does not do cold weather because when we got back to the hotel and we got inside my symptoms seem to subside a little bit.

We walked about 5 miles that day. It was great being outside in the fresh air and seeing the city. One of my husband’s aunts stated that I didn’t even need to go to the gym that morning because of all of the walking we did. She clearly doesn’t know me to well LOL. We could be climbing Mount Everest and my ass would be in the gym that morning.

That evening we went to dinner in Little Italy. We went to a local restaurant called La Famiglia Giorgio's and their portions of pasta were ridiculously huge! so I knew that was going to make Jon happy. I stuck to grilled chicken and sautéed vegetables. Needless to say, I was the lame one but I knew I didn't want to feel to full to get a good night’s sleep because we had an early flight in the morning.

Now normally I would go a little crazy because I wasn’t going to be able to hit the gym before we took off on our flight Monday morning but I was actually really OK. I knew when I got home I could hit the gym. I don't usually like to wait. I like going early to get it out of the way that's why when we were in Boston on Saturday morning and Sunday morning I made sure to get up at a decent time so I could go to the gym before the day’s festivities began. But Monday that just wasn't going to happen. It usually causes me some anxiety if I don't get to go to the gym before starting the day. But I was actually OK and I was really proud of myself for not freaking out. But you have to know that as soon as I got home that was the first thing I did was get my gym clothes and go to the gym.

It's like the more and more I write these blogs I find out how much anxiety I really have but then I take a look back and think how much anxiety I've overcome over the past few years. I'm really trying to just let things go. I'm slowly realizing that I certainly can't control everything and they're going to be bumps in the road and I need to learn to deal with them instead of freaking out about them, especially when it comes to food and fitness. it's a journey and one day is not going to break everything that I've worked so hard for. I've also realized that in order to achieve my goals I need to refocus and I need to clean up my diet a bit. Not that my eating habits are bad. I mean I generally follow a Paleo diet, always gluten-free, but I do have my treats occasionally and I really need to hone that in as well as revamp some of my workouts to fit the goals that I want to achieve.

I've really been considering competing in a fitness and figure competition and that's really scary for me to say because I'm very insecure about my body.  I don't like people to look at it but it's almost like I feel I need to take that leap because I have something I need to prove to myself. I need to prove that I have come along way. I also like having to be very disciplined (because I'm crazy.) People always commend me on my willpower and discipline and it's not really so much willpower I mean I do have good willpower but it's more of this is my life, I have to follow this kind of diet plan, I have to eat this way because my body won't let me eat “normal” food. But I haven't been super strict about limiting my caloric intake or watching my macros. For so long I was always hungry. I always felt hungry for many years. I would feel hungry and it was always “oh Jennifer you can go little longer you don't need something to eat” and that's not a healthy way to live ,it's not a healthy mindset. So ever since I have just not wanted to be hungry and so I don't really count calories that much anymore and I have treats when I want them but if I want to achieve my goals I really have to start being more mindful.

I don't know if I'm going to compete, it’s just something silly that's dancing around in my mind and sort of motivates me. It would be nice to look like that! My goal isn’t necessarily to look like a bodybuilder but I want to look like I put the work in. I don't feel like where I am now people look at me and think “that girl puts in the work” and that is what I want people to look at me and say. I put in a lot of work. I'm at the gym every day and I'm there an hour and a half to two hours always trying to improve and make myself better. I want my body to show that. I want people to see that. It is important for me. I don't want to look sexy or pretty I want to look fit. Does that make sense? I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling.

AnyWho, I don't really have anything too important to discuss this week I just wanted to tell you a little bit about my trip and let you know what my plan is for the new year. But if you have any questions or need help with your resolutions whether its fitness or nutrition related I will certainly be happy to help. Even if it's not related to any of those things it's just a personal goal you want to achieve and you think I might have some insight into it I'd be happy to help too! These past couple days, if you have started on your Paleo journey I gave you some excellent people to follow and a good recipe in the last blog post. I'll try to periodically post some different recipes and give you some good people to check out related to the Paleo diet just to kinda help you expand what you're eating and expand your knowledge about the lifestyle to make it easier for you.

Ok BBBBBYYYYYYEEEEE!

P.S. Does anyone have a good arm workout? My Biceps and Triceps workouts lately have been lack luster. My baby bull dog arms are going to dwindle because I'm bored with arms. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.